place , place- whats in a place

Over the course of this past year I was on an exploratory mission commissioned by myself- to determine my calling. The mission was daunting but was expressly understood that once
accomplished would furnish the most compelling results. I ventured out into the wilderness of no schedule, no 8-5, nothing but the expanse of life and the world in front of me.I had no map, and the arrow in my compass seemed to be spinning round andround. So I walked in circles- I looked under rocks and marked trees with a bit of flagging taken from my fabric. I meandered down promising paths and took in the gorgeousness that a new view afforded. As soon as the newness faded, I would pursue another trail and be mesmerized and in awe once again. When dark came- it enveloped me in dis pair- leaving me questioning if the sun really would come up to furnish me with light and provide the clarity I needed to make the trek. Then as it always does- it rose with brightness that yielded a surge of energy to keep me moving. The terrain at times was steep and it hurt to climb. Sometimes it was rocky and I would fall and I questioned my strength to get up. Then I would pull in deep- and climb my way out. The questioning of myself did not subside and persisted with every step that yielded no blatant results. In an effort to uphold my commission I kept moving. I had a good time along this journey- offering up my own comic relief. I would roll on the ground in a laughing hysteria at the image of me tromping through the muck and tumbling down hills-dirtying my designer gear. Then as profound as the simplest of things are- I realized that my worn path was circling around the same place. In the circle was a clearing. I decided to veer from the path I had treaded and walked inside to see more of what the clearing offered. As I walked farther in I got a supreme case of deja-vu. One step closer and waves of calm and peace cascaded over me like a waterfall. This place that I stumbled upon -was home.

The journey I took was of value. Had I not wandered along the outside- I could not have seen the clearing. For me- the source of my quest was what begged me to heed. Home is the launch point- my springboard. I found that by splitting myself in two and exposing my heart was where I found peace and understanding of what and where I needed to be. For me it was the exposure of looking inward rather than out. Start with you- it is the place.